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22/11/2011

Congratulations to Deutsche Factoring Bank in Bremen ...

... for sending us the first Christmas greeting card in 2011!...

... for sending us the first Christmas greeting card in 2011! Usually, the first Christmas cards come from Asia, from companies that do not know our traditions well, or when Christmas is exactly. But for a German company, sending their greeting by 22 November, that's fast :)

However, I'll use this opportunity to greet back Bremen: Merry Christmas to you, too! We'll be sending our cards a little later ...

And here's a little incentive: Cards that do not come solo, but are attached to big, elaborate, valuable presents do get the most attention :)

08/11/2011

Survey terror

Did it become more lately? I'm receiving e-mails from hotels, airlines, etc. all the time, with questionnaires on their service....

Did it become more lately? I'm receiving e-mails from hotels, airlines, etc. all the time, with questionnaires on their service. Banks, car dealers and leasing companies are hiring call centres to call me and ask for my opinion on their performance. All questionnaires have their final question in common: "How likely is it that you will recommend us to your acquaintances, partners and friends?"

Yesterday evening, I received a questionnaire from the Marina Bay Sands Hotel in Singapore: "A few minutes of your time, to help us improve." As the football match Eintracht Frankfurt vs. Aue that I was watching on TV was terrible, I actually answered their questions. I came to the point where I couldn't refrain from laughing; when I still wasn't finished after twenty minutes ... there were 60 (!) questions. Unbelievable. Who has the time for this? To top it off – by that time, Eintracht had scored the lead in the 86th minute – when I tried to send my answers, this message popped up: "You did not fill in all the required fields." This must be a joke! This hotel has about 15 restaurants; unfortunately, I didn't have the time to test them all on the day I was there. Do I really have to check "not applicable" on each of the ten questions for each of the restaurants where I haven't been, totalling 130? I can imagine that the management of the Marina Bay Sands is terribly disappointed, as nobody is likely to send back their form. They must feel completely ignored ... I'm trying not to picture their marketing department, waiting for some response :)

Some of the questions asked are understandable, such as whether I liked the food and facilities. That's how people feel. But from a manager's point of view, if I need to ask my customers whether the rooms and restaurants are clean, then I should try and go upstairs to have a look at ten rooms myself, instead of firing superfluous questions at my customers.

With airlines, I have become most obliging: I don't refuse their questionnaires any longer; rather, I put them into the envelope unanswered. This way, I can spare the friendly flight attendant a "no". Note that I have been responding to Lufthansa's questions for 15 years, and nothing has ever changed. Cathay Pacific even wanted to know how I liked the arrival lounge; even though the questionnaires are collected before landing. Nonsense. Every time I read "we have chosen you for our survey", I wonder, whether I look bored or idle. Or do I look like I have eaten so much airline food as to be specially able to rate it.

The last survey we did was ten years ago – and even then, we at least offered our customers a "thank you". After all, we cannot advertise our speed and efficiency if we ask each customer, who just completed a highly efficient and quick purchase, to answer questions for 3 hours.

Speaking of little thank-yous for questionnaires: Emirates recently told me: "You may keep the pen, if you wish." Thank you, finally my first ballpen.