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11/07/2015

A different way of checking-out of a hotel

When we talk about the optimization of the billing process I have to ask myself why this trend has done everything possible to avoid hotels....

When we talk about the optimization of the billing process I have to ask myself why this trend has done everything possible to avoid hotels. Checking-out at a hotel can take forever, even without a long waiting line. Please review your bill, the sample print-out, yes – please show us again the credit card you used upon check-in, separate private expenses from the corporate portion, and then, of course, the billing address is incorrect. I have often experienced many of these things. TV check-out takes even longer and the "Quick Check-Out" option with the card you return in the slot (which you still need to fill out by hand, however, with all the information that you already provided the hotel with at least five times) is not offered in many foreign hotels. Should we charge your credit card in euros (so that the hotel can pocket the exchange rate difference) or in local currency? How was your stay with us – even though you receive the obligatory customer satisfaction survey email not ten minutes later. We added a one euro donation to UNICEF on your bill, or should we remove it? (That’s a good question, because how on earth will the company account for it?).

The best solution is often the simplest: I just leave. No check-out, I get directly into a taxi and send a short email to the hotel: I just moved out of room 222. Please take the minibar into account and send me the receipt by email. You already have my credit card number. And please refer to my email signature for the correct billing address. The hotel room magnetic stripe card can be confidently left behind in the taxi, because, after all, we sell magnetic stripe cards and driving sales is always a good thing. :)

Does it work? Of course! And no matter whether I am in China, Vietnam, the USA, Belgium or Germany. It has never taken longer than an hour for the invoice to come via email. Thank you for your patronage. Gladly. I should have thought of this earlier. Now my alarm goes off ten minutes later on my check-out day.

11/07/2015

Tennis fever and the bathtub

For my 44th birthday my wife gave me tennis equipment, and since "suggestions" from the best wife should be implemented as fast as the hints come, I succumbed to...

For my 44th birthday my wife gave me tennis equipment, and since "suggestions" from the best wife should be implemented as fast as the hints come, I succumbed to tennis fever. Training sessions in the morning before work, and even in China I found a ventilated indoor tennis court, in which you can really learn tennis despite 40 degree temperature outdoors and a typhoon warning.

A side effect of all of this is that I now suddenly like to watch tennis on TV: Wimbledon – since I want to participate next year at the latest. I used to find it aloof and boring, but now I am even more captivated by an exciting match than I am from a three-hour presentation about new mobile printers.

During Wimbledon I am in Shenzen, and thanks to my many visits there and the many bookings for employees, my favorite hotel (the Grand Hyatt) always has a large suite reserved for me, with a large bathtub. I fill it up right away when I arrive. Foolish though, to forget about the bathtub during the match between Serena Williams and Marija Scharapowa.

After the match is over I think, hey, a bath would be great! Crap, it’s already running. On my way to the bathroom the water rushes out to greet me. Lots of water! Of course such a bathtub has an overflow, but it does not need to forcibly work. The bathroom itself is a centimeter lower than the rest of the rooms and also has a drain in the floor. But even it goes on break now and again. Since the recessed bathroom is now completely flooded, it is not just water, but a LOT of water we are talking about.

Ok, not my mistake, I think to myself. So, in the late evening the hotel cleaning crew had to come up with the heavy-duty equipment. The chic, super-slim scale in the bathroom also was a victim of the flood: electronic damage. The carpet in the bedroom (thankfully one you can pull up and exchange) also needs to be taken out to dry. So far, so good. The entire process cost me an hour though. I could have been more careful, since I already have enough experience with Chinese installation companies (they worked on our Chinese office). I should have known better.

The next evening I called my wife: "It happened again!". I got belly laughs instead of sympathy. Who was to blame? Not me, but Roger Federer, of course, who simply could not finish his match. He should beware, in case I can ever really play tennis.

Back to Sea World… Luckily, only the bathroom was affected this time. What to do? Call reception? Better not, that’s too embarrassing. Ok then: towels, bath robe, anything that can possibly soak up water comes into play. I thought the hotel had fixed the problem, but it was apparently only an excuse. Well then, Spranger has to spring into action and clean for two hours. A punishment is in order. Oh, and remember to leave housekeeping a nice tip, since they will certainly wonder why there are so many wet towels hanging up to dry the following morning.

How crazy do you think you will be taken for when you casually ask for a new scale again the next day? They must be thinking: is he really so fat so that the scales won’t work? Or will I receive a manual stating that scales should not be used in the shower? Thankfully, everything was taken care of with a friendly smile.

Tonight is the women’s final match in Wimbledon. My solution: set the alarm after turning on the faucet. And connect the video camera of the iPhone to the iWatch, in order to keep a visual on the liquid level. And to be on the safe side, this time I will put the scale on the bed. :)

18/05/2015

Events in the back of beyond

Our vendors expect us to participate at certain events. Annual partner meetings in each region, quarterly updates, »Global Summits« and so forth....

Our vendors expect us to participate at certain events. Annual partner meetings in each region, quarterly updates, »Global Summits« and so forth. If I attended each one, I would probably never be in the office (and I like my office).

Sometimes it is a lot of fun, but usually it is a good lesson in how to make wasting your time complicated.

Usually these events are set up to have one entire day filled with relevant content. However, you should plan to arrive one day prior in order to attend the opening ceremony and partake in the Welcome Cocktail. The third day is equally important, since that is the day that everything is summarized. On the second day your eyes are bombarded with PowerPoint presentations, and at such an early hour that you cannot plan your arrival for that day. Often these presentations are given by people who are unable to present (or who do not want to).

But it gets better: There is always a »fun« event, which is kept »top secret« ahead of time. It ends up either being a ride in an off-road vehicle, a brewery or winery tour, or something similar. The location is also top secret, of course. It’s like a kid’s birthday party for adults! There is a bus to bring you and pick you up, meaning that you cannot escape earlier. These "fun" events are well intentioned, but should be placed – optionally – at the end of the entire event. Not everyone wishes to spend his free time with his competitors and suppliers.

And if so, then please make assigned seating in the evening, so that you meet the right people. How many times have I spent evenings with vendor partners from South America and vendor employees from North America… They were all nice people, but they simply are not a part of our business region. Usually there is not even a polite exchange of business cards. That tells you everything about how your time was wasted. Generally even our vendors’ contact persons are not in attendance, because they do cut travel expenses and the time expenditure. Hark!

The main problem, however, is the location. We have been pleading with our vendors for years to please pick a location that you can easily reach via commercial airliner nonstop. There are plenty of them! The reality shows that event agencies always choose super exciting vacation destinations, and always either right before or right after the airline summer season.

If you want to go to Madeira, Malta, Faro or Jerez de la Frontera from Frankfurt during the off-season, there is only one flight a week, or you have to change planes. And that is just for Frankfurt – if you are coming from Bremen or Seville then it is even worse, and it will probably take you seven hours to travel.

Why do people hold events at these locations? It’s quite simple: because it’s inexpensive. In the off-season hotel rooms in five-star hotels are often ridiculously cheap, as are the travel costs for your block of attending employees. That is how destinations are chosen, since coincidentally a Ryanair flight from the corresponding headquarters happens to be flying to no man’s land. Yet, how the customers will arrive remains secondary.

And why is the venue location so inexpensive? Precisely because nobody willingly wants to go there at that particular time of year. The more isolated the location, the less likely you can combine the conference with anything else. Frequently you will hear »Our customers like to arrive days ahead of time and spend time at the beach at the company’s expense.« Hopefully these people do not forget to attend the conference. :)

Since everything is arranged with an event agency, it is often the case that no one from the vendor’s side has ever seen the location, let alone tried the food. Hotels also regularly make loud renovations during the off-season.

Normally there is no agenda available until just prior to the start, but rather a »Save-the-Date« for all of the three days of the event, so that you have no chance of being able to make travel arrangements ahead of time. But I want to make plans, and early enough too! I will not simply surrender three days of my time to a supplier without knowing for what!

What is even worse is when you realize that there is nothing worth discussing on-site, because perhaps the vendor did not finalize his partner programme in time, or pricing and delivery times of new products are still not yet determined and presentations contain many business formulas which ultimately say nothing. When we attend a vendor event, we want to know how we can make more money for ourselves or our customers by working with this vendor. The vendor’s maximization of profit does not interest us.

These meetings are of course intended for »top executives«, meaning that the general manager should attend. However, I do not know one general manager in our sector who gladly sits in a stuffy meeting room and listens to someone reading product data sheets aloud. So please provide a correlating programme! There are frequently also individual meetings with the vendor’s top level from the USA or Japan. We happen to be sitting across from each other, however the top dog has no earthly idea who Jarltech is or what we do. And where on earth is this strange place called Europe?

Plus, a partner programme is no good if I need 20 PowerPoint slides to explain it. Our reseller customers will definitely not even read it once.

But wait, the nice hotel on the beach only has conference rooms without windows. And because of the expensive »fun« event there is unfortunately only enough budget left over for a buffet with tomatoes and plastic mozzarella cheese. I won’t even mention the wine in Tetra Pak. Frankly, if an event is interesting, then the guest will also gladly pay a portion, and can even pay for his meal. Are the vendors afraid that this would keep people from attending, because the costs would then no longer be in relation to the contents?

It also has become trendy for vendors to let customers pay for the events. We are needed to provide a buffet »sponsored by Jarltech« or a Jarltech banner in the breakfast room. Another favourite is spending 5,000 euros on lanyards (those cords worn around your neck to which you clip on your name tag). We often are able to pay for this from our vendor’s marketing budget, but up until that point it was »our money«. What does this mean in reality? I give you marketing money, but I tell you how you have to give it back to me. The marketing effect is supposed to be great, since only »the largest reseller partners« are present. However, there are only three pan-European distributors, and if the reseller does not know all of them, then he will not be comparing prices and services at all.

The worst: The quality of the above-mentioned buffet does not change because of our sponsorship (you are not able to make any changes or personalize it), and my competitors are also not happy if they have to drink a »Jarltech Breeze« the whole night. I have received enough malice for this: »Thanks for sponsoring the lunch, but I think you are trying to poison us.« Sorry, the event agency is responsible for the quality, and they must also take their cut from the measly food budget authorized by the vendor.

I have the impression that corporate group leaders often have to hold such an event once a year (to stay close to customers), and perhaps they even receive a bonus because of it. I would prefer to hold an event because there is something to say, not just because you have to hold an event.

31/03/2015

Time for self-praise

It's time to be proud of ourselves:

...

It's time to be proud of ourselves:

If a company attains a growth of 54% compared to the same month of the previous year, that is a great achievement. This is not solely a matter of the sales department (who are the "face" of the company to the customers), it also concerns all employees of the marketing, IT/ERP, purchasing, administration, accounting and technical departments, who "casually" manage such a "jump". Also do not forget the logistics team, who even handled 100 pallets that arrived from Zebra in a single week; people who start as early as 4 AM and always have new ideas about how to improve the flow of goods.

Jarltech's philosophy also plays a role here: Every process must be scalable. And we find a solution for everything. We employ lawyers for our M&A processes, but not against our customers, banks, suppliers or employees; we haven't for 20 years now. We avoid ill feeling, without losing our backbone however.

After such a great month, I can only feel happy. And in such a case I don't care that the winner's champagne for our employees costs 30% extra wage tax. A big thank you to all the team, customers and vendors.

13/02/2015

The decline of the East

Behold! In the best hotel in the world, its best restaurant has just eliminated the jacket requirement for gentlemen. Scandal! No, I do not belong there myself....

Behold! In the best hotel in the world, its best restaurant has just eliminated the jacket requirement for gentlemen. Scandal! No, I do not belong there myself. Why should I put on a jacket for a private evening out, and besides, it is a fish restaurant. I am allergic to fish, caviar and everything that wiggles underwater. Unless the caviar is molecularly produced and tastes like gummy bears, but that's another story…

Ultimately, I've always enjoyed sitting at the bar at the front of this restaurant. Fat rich men accompanied by spindly and half-as-old models arrived to take their reserved table. Unfortunately this was impossible, because these gentlemen were not wearing a jacket. It just stood there as a barrier between them: the 1,000-dollar menu, the attractive dinner companion, the reservation which was made months ago, but here in front of the bouncer it was all over ... ergo, the restaurant had a large pool of gentlemen's evening wear. And so the gentlemen were made to change their clothes as many times until they looked just as glamorous as their female companions. However, the "I can buy anything because I'm rich" theme came to a halt, due to improper attire. You know what it's about: respect for the chef, the restaurant, and, of course, the dead fish. All the millions in the world did not help here - no suit, no fish.

When leaving the bar, I always enjoyed a quick last peek into the restaurant. Ultimately, all the men had the same jacket on, Kenzo, in blue. Well, the restaurant did not want to sell them, but rather simply cover the colourful shirts underneath.

Even this fun had to come to an end. Soon you can directly enter a star restaurant from the beach without changing clothes first. The blame, of course, as always is the Ukraine crisis: every guest who still has money and is entitled to travel is welcome. And if the Ukraine crisis is not to blame, then it must be the lowered growth forecast for China.

Luckily, our business at Jarltech is not first-class cuisine, just first-class distribution. And as long as we only make calls with customers, they will only hear the friendly people on the other end of the line, and will not notice the absence of a jacket.

20/01/2015

Spranger-tested suitcase

In our bonus shop category "Jarltech & more", you will now find a silver carry-on trolley with Jarltech engraving....

In our bonus shop category "Jarltech & more", you will now find a silver carry-on trolley with Jarltech engraving. I have been searching for this suitcase for a long time and have tested a large number of them -- then finally found a model I liked so well that I bought 100 right away. Our managers each received one engraved with their name for Christmas -- practical, especially for flirting at the baggage claim. Or, if you are a lonely traveller and want to talk to your suitcase, it at least has a name. We engraved the remaining suitcases with a discreet "www.jarltech.com" for our most loyal fans. The trolley is available in our bonus shop starting today, for merely 19,000 points. Whoever mails me the nicest travel picture with his or her Jarltech suitcase will be reimbursed the cashed-in points.

07/01/2015

Will you marry me?

Our Head of Purchasing, Leon Schrodt, had a very unusual idea for his proposal: he convinced Empathy Shoes in Berlin to send him shoes with "Will You Marry Me?"...

Our Head of Purchasing, Leon Schrodt, had a very unusual idea for his proposal: he convinced Empathy Shoes in Berlin to send him shoes with "Will You Marry Me?" lasered on the soles in mirror writing. Reportedly, a couple of footprints in the snow were enough to get the desired "Yes". Success, so far. Here is a link with pictures of the successful act: Empathyshoes Blog

I must say though, a few questions cross my mind in this regard:

1. What if the beloved woman does not want to follow me a few metres behind as befits? 2. How do I propose if there is no snow? 3. Is there a pair of shoes with "Yes" and "No", so that my girlfriend, hopping on one leg, might stamp her answer? 4. While walking through the snow and looking ahead, how do I make sure that no other woman is walking behind me? 5. Does this also work in the sandbox or on the beach if there is no snow available? However, it is a brilliant idea, and in advance all the best wishes for a wonderful wedding. Of course, we will now have to order some shoes with "Jarltech" soles as a wedding gift. They even have a second advantage: walking on tiptoes, you should be able to print "Ja", which means "Yes" in German. ;)

18/12/2014

Thoughts at the year's end

Is it really the beautiful side of Christmas that everyone is doing the same thing?...

Is it really the beautiful side of Christmas that everyone is doing the same thing? No matter where you go, you get the impression that everyone else had the same idea. Supermarket parking, restaurants, tunnel in the Alps - all full. Christmas would not be such a logistical disaster if the end of the year would not almost simultaneously also come. Who came up with that anyway?

Even before Christmas people start talking about New Year's Eve parties (Should I throw one myself? Would it be better to invite myself somewhere else instead? What about the children?). And add to this everything else that needs to still be done before the end of the year: clean up the accounts, collect money, renegotiate target achievements with suppliers ... of course, you still have to attend to x-number of matters with the notary, and so on. The final sprint of the year is then complicated by school holidays, because thanks to this one finds himself in a ski lodge on the last crucial days of the year and not in the control room. Now, although I have finally Bluetooth ski gloves with a microphone and speaker, I suspect it will not be the same as in the cozy office. You do not want to lose sight of the pretty ski instructor just because of a phone call.

Oh yes - gifts. The trend is rising again. Two years ago, the majority of partners and suppliers had reached rock bottom, namely, by sending e-Greetings (please, please spare me this spam if you cannot spare a printed card). Now again some packages are gathering around us. And, my compliments, often with creative contents that go beyond a bag of cookies plus re-gifted junk. Some things are really personal: even some Eintracht Frankfurt memorabilia has arrived. Some people not only have football expertise and good taste, but have really thought about what would make the receiver happy. Incidentally, we prefer to buy from companies that give us Eintracht Frankfurt memorabilia, to clearly emphasize that again.

What's still left to do before the end of the year? The most stupid thing is when you still have to spend a budget that you will lose next year. Since you can really nicely waste corporate or government money pointlessly it need not be a surprise if this company someday ceases to exist, just because of the mindless spending. For the authorities, of course, this does not apply, because yes, you can increase a tax or a fee in case of an emergency. My tip: do this just before Christmas, because all are far too busy to get excited about it anyway.

In this sense, Merry Christmas, accident-free skiing, a beautiful year’s end and a higher budget in 2015! Work hard, party hard.

11/11/2014

... and the news from Q3

As always, here's an overview of our performance: +21% growth in Q3 compared to last year....

As always, here's an overview of our performance: +21% growth in Q3 compared to last year. And without acquisitions, just thanks to our customers' loyalty and the efforts of all of our departments. I am pleased to report that Jarltech's growth course continues unabated.

September was definitely our top month. October started off just as well, plus the business of our sister company in China is noticeably picking up.

Q4 will again bring a great final sprint. Even if I just picked the design for the Christmas cards: the year is not over yet!